Almost everyone has imaginary friends as kids. Some people hold on to those imaginary friends well into their teens. Most people let go of or even forget, their imaginary friends when they grow up. For some reason it is considered odd for an adult to have imaginary friends and people who do have them risk getting sent to some mental facility to get ‘sorted out’. That is why I usually don’t tell people about James, the big friendly penguin I have been hanging out with since childhood.
James showed up when I first started school, just after my sixth birthday and I quickly learned that I was the only one who could see him. We soon became best friends, and we would do everything together. We would play all day, and he would help me with classes. He was always just a little better at school than me, so I always had someone to ask about the hard subjects. James stuck with me all through school and then through college. He helped me write poems and love letters for girls I liked. He gave me tips and pointers for my first ever interview for a job (I landed that puppy like an airbus on the Hudson). To this day I still turn to James for help, more often than I turn to my other (Read: Real) friends or family. As I grew older, I always wondered if and when James would have to leave me. But he never left or even seemed to have a plan to do so. I asked him about it a few times, but since he has no idea where he came from, he also has no idea when he should leave. Frankly I don’t want him to. We have grown too close, and I wouldn’t know what to do without him at this point.
Having a seven-foot penguin following me around can, of course, be a bit awkward at times, but luckily, he has enough etiquette to leave me alone when I need him to. For example, he doesn’t mind sleeping in the hall when I have guests over, and he conveniently always has some important errand to run when I go to the bathroom.
These days we are basically roommates. We play games and watch TV, and we eat drink and laugh together. Just the other day he taught me to make pizza from scratch. And I mean, all the way. Obviously, I can buy a pizza dough and throw on a load of toppings, but James thought it would be a blast to try and make everything our selves. We went out and bought everything to make the dough, the souse, and the toppings. I thought I was doing ok, but the dough kept sticking to the table while I was trying to knead it. I was starting to get frustrated when James came to my aid. “Hi. Try using a bit more flour. Sprinkle some on the table under the dough maybe.” I did as he suggested, and the dough immediately became much more cooperative. It is this kind of life-saving advice that makes James so important to me.
Today we are going to my high school reunion at Stevens house. I’m almost ready, tying my tie and adjusting the hair, when James turns to me, with a worried look on his face. “Bro, I don’t think I should come to the reunion.”
I look up at the big penguin. “What are you talking about? Of course, you are coming.”
“I just think it might be better if I stayed home this time. Like keeping an eye on the house, and all.”
“Dude. You always go where I go, you know that. And what good would it be, having you watch the house? What exactly would you do if something happened?”
James looks nervously around the room. I haven’t seen him like this since we went to the shrink and he was scared I would tell her about him. “What’s gotten into you today? What are you scared of?”. This gets on his nerves, as he likes to remind me that he is never scared of anything. Except maybe shrinks. “I’m not scared. You are scared”. Sometimes James is a bit childish, but you can’t blame him. He is an imaginary prenguin after all. “Fine, if you are not scared, you are going to the party with me.” For a good few seconds, he just stands there looking at me. “Fine, I guess I’m going to the party then”.
When we roll up to Stevens house it is evident that he has done a lot better than me since high school. This place is a mansion, with a large garden and a pool. We go around the garden and make conversation with old classmates for a while. Meaning that I walk around making small talk while James follows me awkwardly. It is great to catch up with old friends and see what everyone has done with their lives since we went to school together. The only odd thing is James seems nervous still. Usually at events and parties he will be smiling and giving pointers on who to talk to. He will even come up with the odd icebreaker for me if a conversation is stalling. I would love to talk to him about it, but I can’t exactly start a conversation with my seven-foot-tall invisible penguin friend in the middle of this party. People would stare or call the cops or something. I’ll just have to talk to him when we get home. Until then, I have to mostly ignore him altogether.
After about an hour at the party we bump into Sophia. I never spoke to her much, but I always liked her. She is still a beautiful girl, and damn, can she wear a summer dress. We start talking about old times, sharing stories that were never supposed to leave the school. We have a great time, and we laugh.
After a bit the talking dies out a bit, and I fear for a second the conversation is ending. Luckily Sophia catches it before it falls. “So, what do you do now? I heard you were going to get into some tech stuff?” As unlikely as it is that she wants to know about my job, it can at least save the conversation for now. “Yes, I am a software developer now. I program microchips that goes in vending machines to determine if a coin is real or not, based on the size, weight, and colour. Not as action packed as it might sound, but it pays the bills. How about you? Where did you end up?”. She laughs a bit and look past me for a split second. “I am a psychologist. I have my own small practice and try to help people better understand them selves and what is going on in their lives.”
James is standing to my left, and when Sophia answers my question, I notice him shift nervously on his feet. I can’t help smiling a little. Sophia looks at me, somewhat puzzled. “Is it funny that I try to help people?” she asks playfully. I have to apologize and explain that I think it’s amazing that she helps people with whatever they have going on. After a few more minutes, talking about work the conversation falls silent again, but Sophia keeps shifting her gaze from me to something behind me. And she has an odd smile on her face, that I can’t really find a word for.
I notice James signalling me to leave, like he knows the conversation is dead, and there is no point trying to resurrect it. But then Sophia picks it up once again, with a question, that I was not prepared for. “Hey, what’s the deal with the penguin?”